Losing My Religion
Posted on | January 8, 2008 | No Comments
My mom and I were half-watching some reality show about hauntings and such. I kept rolling my eyes and commenting about how stupid it all is; wondering why people seem to believe that anything unexplainable in the house has to be a ghost. I also pondered why it is that ghosts only do evil things. They never wash your dishes or mow your lawn. It’s always opening and closing doors and cupboards for no reason. Seriously, don’t they have something better to do?
My mom asks, “You don’t believe in ghosts?” “No, I don’t,” I said, and I further pointed out that there would be no way for a spirit to think without a brain, which I suppose would actually explain why it is that they only make creepy noises and open and close cupboards.
I realized the error in expressing this opinion to my mom… My mom then asked if I believed in Heaven: No. Then she asked if I believed in God. Nope. Then she asked if I believed in Jesus. I assumed she wasn’t referring to one of my Mexican coworkers and responded with, “If I don’t believe in God, why would I believe in Jesus?” Begin awkward silence.
Each of my “No” responses resulted in a little “Oh, no!” from my mom. Until this exchange I imagine she allowed herself to believe I was Christian. I never came out to her about that. It was easier, in my mind, to tell her that I’m gay than it would have been to tell her I’m atheist. Well, it actually went okay, though I suppose she’ll be praying for me for quite some time. There was a bit of awkward silence for a little while after and the subject had been, thankfully, dropped.
The only thing about this that isn’t so great is that I know she’ll worry about my eternal soul and if by some chance I should keel over sometime before she does, she won’t have that misguided comfort that religion brings to people that I am up in Heaven watching over her. 
I am glad, though, that I didn’t lie and make myself a hypocrite, saying that I do believe in God and such.
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